WARNING: Serious rant up ahead, proceed with caution.

_

April Fool's...big fucking deal.

What I am itching to rant about is that today happens to be the first Friday of the month and instead of this company conducting first Friday masses (I'm not overly religious but a mass sure beats a 'monthly assembly'). As with every first Friday, the company has a "monthly general assembly". Why do I seem to have something stuck up my ass concerning this assembly of sorts? Okay. I'll tell you...it happens at night, specifically 8:30 in the evening, if there were no meetings I'd be home by that time...chilling or resting my sorry ass from a day of mind-numbing work.

You'll then say, "But it's only for one day...can't you spare a few hours of your time?"...then I'll quickly say "Shut the fuck up!", the thing that's bothering me is why do we have to go on a meeting in the evening when we can perfectly hold one in the morning? Then some of you will say "...so that the people working in the night shift can attend." and here is where I bitch slap the bejesus out of you for being such a smart ass and not respecting my gangsta.

Who cares about the night people. Why should we go through all this trouble so that they can attend the meetings in their most convenient time while we have to sacrifice precious hours of our own. Why not let these assholes come in the morning or extend a few hours in the day to attend a meeting and accomodate us for a change? Why should we bend over and get ass-fucked all the time for these people? Why not try adjusting to us for a change? Would it hurt to hold these meetings during the day? Let's say the afternoon, is that too much to ask?

Then you would say "Because it's complicated." Calculus is complicated...Nuclear Physics is complicated...rescheduling a meeting? Even a 10 year old can do that. Then you would say something like  "They need their sleep and whatever it is that they do during the day." Then at this point I'll be in pimp mode and slap you like a bitch with my pimp hand. Who gives a rat's ass what they do? Hell, we have stuff to do at 8:30 in the evening too.

So now you see why I hate every first Friday of the month.

the song remains the same...

 Mondays suck.

Kim asked a perfectly valid question yesterday on our way to the doctor. "Why should child birth be that painful?" Good question indeed. She then said that if giving birth was as easy as just walking around and waiting for that little bundle of joy to just drop...she'd be having kids every year. She thought of this while we were walking from the house to the main road, she feels like the baby is going to fall everytime she walks regardless of the distance...imagine that, she'd be walking around and I'm constantly on the look out for something falling from between her legs...I'd be carrying a net or a baseball catcher's glove.

The doctor said that Kim will be giving birth any day now, most probably next week. Then I suddenly felt my balls go way up to my throat. I'm not scared...but I am a bit worried for her. She's ready but just thinking of her going through labor and actual child birth makes me just squirm in my seat. I've told her this a hundred times...if I can bear that responsibilty for her, if I can assume that burden and all the pain that goes with giving birth to a child just to spare her I'd do it in a heartbeat...I don't care which part of my anatomy Jacob decides to use as an exit...I'd do it.

But that won't happen.

So I am content as Kim's cheering squad for the whole nine months or so she's been carrying Jacob in her tummy. And I'd be cheering her on come game day, if I can do cartwheels and back-flips I'd be doing them, and if I have to use pom-poms I'd do it too. The waiting part is what's killing me right now. It's hard at times trying to psych her up and prepare her for what's coming...she's trying her best but you can't take away that sense of uncertainty and fear...but she's trying real hard. I can see it.

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"

- Dirty Harry (Clint fucking Eastwood) 

I saw this wall clock once on TV and I was attracted to the design...it's got that pop art kitsch and feel and plus it looked cool. Now, if I can have some extra time I can make one just like that, I just hope it lasts before the ants eat up all the lollipops.

Lollipops you say? In case you're wondering go to this site.

» from thwartdesign.com

It has been a long and drawn out day so far. I'm saying "so far" because who knows what might transpire in the next few hours? There is so much hanging in the balance these days, what with Kim giving birth pretty soon...it might be anytime this week or the next. I am in a very heightened sense of alert these past few days as well, as I work I constantly glance at my cellphone to see if I have missed a crucial message from home (I usually wear headphones while working). Call it an acute case of paranoia, but can you blame me?

Alas, the perplexities of being a father-to-be.

Things used to be simpler back then. Not that I preferred those days rather than now, it's just that I, no...we are making a big step...A VERY BIG STEP. Home will not be the same again in the coming days, I swear I can hear a child's laughter every time I open the gates. Call me  mellow dramatic but we have been wishing for a child ever since we got married, if you have been a regular visitor to this blog, you would know.

Will things change? You bet your sweet ass. Will I change? For the better I hope...but I'll still be the same crazy, misguided, neurotic, obsessive-compulsive, geeky, overly-zealous, painfully shy nail-biting person I am...only this time, I get to see if those traits will be passed on to Jacob (God I hope some won't) but I'm really excited, anytime now...I'll have my very own MINI ME, hehe.

My beloved blue, furry monster -- who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" -- is now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song -- "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.

"Sacrilege!" I cried. "That's akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean." (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn't care.)

Has Cookie Monster given up sweets? Click to read the full story.

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What the...?

» from CNN.com 

Whatever happened to Mr. T?

I was watching the Cartoon Network a few nights ago and I came across "Mister T and Friends", it was a cartoon show back in the eightees that had quite a run on TV. I never really liked the show, I just watched it now because of the nostalgia factor I guess. The animation sucked, I was not really into Mr. T although I kinda liked him back in his "A-Team" days, my cousins back then all wanted to get mohawks because of this man.

And we thought back then that the guy had some sort of split personality issues I guess...he kept saying "I'm Winnie the Pooh!", "I'm Winnie the Pooh!" for no apparent reason. Okay maybe he likes Winnie the Pooh and wants to emulate the Disney character but the picture just doesn't quite fit...you got bad-ass, mohawked angry black man and a bear who has a penchant for honey and walking around with only a red t-shirt and nothing covering his ass.

It seems that what he was trying to say all along was "I pity the fool!" but hey, I was just a kid back then and that's what I heard...and it stuck. You know, the way you hear some line to a song and it's not the right words but you hear it and it's registered in your head and it stays with you as you grow up...well that was it.

And besides, can you blame me if I thought he was fond of honey and showing some ass?

"be a man, kill yourself!
be someone, kill yourself!"

At first glance, Ian Curtis' suicide appears to be exclusively the product of his own depression and ill health. However, Deborah Curtis' book "Touching From A Distance" gives the impression that Ian Curtis always wanted to die young.

» from iancurtis.org

"for there are brighter sides to life and I should know because I've seen them, but not very often...so ask me why and I'll spit in your eye...ask me why and I'll spit in your eye...for we cannot cling, to the old days anymore, no we cannot cling to those days...am I still ill?"

STILL ILL
The Smiths

even if the day seems bright and clear...
in my heart is a gray cloud.

It's just over 5 minutes long and it keeps you hanging and you just want to pull your hair off of their roots because you could miss it if you blink or sneeze. Why did they have to make it so short? Gendy Tartakovsky is one lazy-ass cartoon producer that's what he is. Where in the world can you see a cartoon show only 5 minutes long? Cartoon Network must be penny-pinching to only allow STAR WARS CLONE WARS VOLUME 2  to have 5 minute episodes...thanks to commercials you'd think that it's 15 minutes long but actually it's just over 5 minutes...is it 5 or 3? I don't now anymore.

The wierd part is I'm hooked...ehe he.

"The Smiths happened because I had
walked home in the rain once too often,"

                                           - Morrissey

HOLY SHIT!

I'm meeting Kim at the mall for dinner and I know I won't get to see tonight's  episode of CLONE WARS...but hey, it's a small price to pay, just seeing her face literally light up with glee as she roams around the mall (she doesn't get to go out that much nowadays) is worth it...and besides, she can use the exercise.

Her mom will arrive tomorrow, I just hope MINI-ME doesn't decide to come out before she arrives or worse...come out the same time she arrives because I just know, it's going to be messy.

_

I feel sick from the anticipation...I feel like throwing up now and then and I feel like I'm having fever.

I HATE WAITING. 

Kim's mom arrived last Saturday to her delight because MINI-ME is still in Kim's uterus. Lunch spilled over to dinner and Saturday went into Sunday after 3 movies and lots of pizza, got home at around 1 a.m. on Sunday.

Jack, I think that's the proposed nickname for Jacob? That or Jake, I hate the sound of Jake but that's the very obvious choice if you're named Jacob...but anyway, he  loved the attention from her lola, aunt and uncles...dude was showing off if you asked me. Contorting and heaving and curling or whatever the heck he was doing in there.
_

Sunday was hike day for Kim at the mall. Looking at her walk like a parade mascot was just too much, I know you're not supposed to laugh but I can't help it...she looks funny. Walking around clutching the bottom of that bulging stomach as if it's going to fall, making strange faces...stopping in mid-stride because Jack decided to add to the agony by doing what seems to be jumping-jacks. I know you'll say that I'm terrible, laughing at the expense of another person's pain...but that's besides the point because if you see her it's so funny it's CUTE.

She wants to get this over with. She's hoping this week wont go by and she still hasn't given birth.

I'm with her on that.
_

And on a lighter note...

"Deftones drummer Abe Cunningham has told Rolling Stone magazine that his band are gonna turn everything "upside down" on their next studio record. The band are currently working with former Kiss/Alice Cooper/Pink Floyd producer Bob Ezrin. "We just needed to change things up," says Abe. "And this is definitely a different style. Working with [Bob] is just putting us fucking upside down! He's cracking the whip! He has made some amazing records - Pink Floyd is one of my all-time favorite groups - and he's worked with such a wide variety of people. "I think [the new record] could be more like White Pony. It's hard to answer that when you're up inside of it. It's kind of an amoeba right now but there's some fairly complicated stuff. There's this one song that has, like, five different tempo changes!" The record is set for release through Warner Bros. Later this year." » full story

- from thedeftones.com 

"Prior to heading into the studio, the band went to Malibu to write the new songs. “It was weird being out in Malibu, which is like a sunny place, a happy place, and we just started making some straight evil music,” says Moreno." » full story

- from indigoflow.co.uk

I can't wait for this one as well...hehe.

Why are fortune tellers or people who claim to see the future broke? If they were all-knowing and all-seeing, hell they could at least get one lottery combination right...right? Why haven't I heard Madame Auring or some other psychic hit it big in megalotto or sweepstakes? If I saw the future and the combination to Super Lotto was 812 666 or whatever, dammit I'd drag my sorry ass and buy a ticket and I'd win...hands down right? But why pray-tell are fortune tellers still telling peoples' fortunes and not sitting back with a fat ass on a beach, sipping margaritas on an island somewhere in the Caribbean? It's just crazy!

Why am I talking about fortune tellers?

I don't know...aybe it's because Ares mentioned Madame Auring while we had a break a few minutes ago.

It's been a slow day...we simply ran out of books.

I have another question. In my 6 years of working in different companies...why is it that the worst people I have ever met or known are in HR? Okay, except maybe one company but the rest are just plain awful! The shitiest bunch of human beings I have ever had the misfortune of running into. I thought HR was supposed to help, but this department has some of the most calloused, rude, obnoxious, condescending and snootiest people ever assembled...they should all burn in the deepest armpits of Hell...or maybe, working in HR is Hell in itself?

A strange bunch...fortune tellers and HR personnel.

One more thing, I am getting really annoyed with these "dispatchers" or what some would call "barkers", you know those people who think we're mindless sheep, too dumb to know which jeepney to take to go to our desired destination. I'm not belittling them or anything but please...they're as useful as an airconditioner is to an Eskimo. I hate it when I get to the corner or to a jeepney stop and some dude is screaming until his balls turn blue...people don't need to be told what jeepney to take...THEY KNOW! If they didn't you'd have mass hysteria and panic and empty jeepneys with irate drivers and a crap load of people standing around doing nothing...but it's not happening because, THEY KNOW what jeepney to take!

What's bothering me is that some just make it as an excuse...they scream, pretending to herd passengers but if you would examine closely the passengers don't need any help BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT JEEPNEY THEY SHOULD TAKE...then they leave the jeepney half-full and ask the driver for money...they are living off of these poor drivers who are being ass-fucked as it is by high gasoline prices, and in turn these drivers take home what little they have and hatch plans for transport strikes and you got chaos, bedlam and a bunch of people reporting late for work!

Luckily I was almost but not quite late because if I was then I wouldn't be blogging...I'd be opening a can of whoop-ass, I'd be laying the smackdown!

Just kidding.

I was late, but hey, that's life...no big deal.

"planet earth is blue
and there's nothing i can do..."

Went to the doctor for yet another installment of Kim's pre-natal. She'll be officially due this Wednesday but it seems that Jacob still has no plans of coming out. So a few more days of quiet anticiation on the family's part and an extension on Kim's test of patience and backbone...and I meant backbone literally because if you see her with her stomach precariously hanging like some bomb tip-toeing on a cliff...it's back breaking work...the sheer load, just looking at it is too much.

We're crossing our fingers and just praying that Jacob will come out soon or else we have to go to drastic measures...like me jumping on her tummy and someone stands in front of her, ready to catch the baby as it shoots from out of her...if it were that easy, and if it was not against the norms of civilized society, I'd do it.

Some of you might notice the new masthead...my apologies to George Lucas.

Yeah, too much time on my hands and me being a STAR WARS fan and all, how can I not? As early as now Kim and I are planning on what to do, when it opens, how will we watch it with the baby just a few weeks old by then, who will be the sorry-ass person we leave Jacob to while we watch grown men in robes playing with light sabers. If I can only take Jacob with us when we do watch it, it would be a blast and it would be such an experience but by that time he's still too fragile.

We could always take turns watching the movie...hehe.
So far we're still waiting for Jacob, I know he'll be out soon, so many are holding their collective breaths. From grand-parents, uncles, aunts and cousins...EVERYONE! So when he does come and I know it will be soon, it will be the coolest day ever.

I'm finding it hard pushing myself to do things these days. Last weekend I was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, when I remembered my sketch book, silently collecting dust in the book shelf together with my copy of Black Spring...I still haven't finished it because the minute I pick the book up, I feel tired already. My body and my mind always makes up excuses not to go on and read or even turn the page. It's disturbing.

So there I was, pencil and sketch pad in hand and as I started doodling, it felt so alien. The strokes were just plain awful, I know I'm doodling but my mind was in another time zone...my hand was moving but my thoughts were of strawberry filled doughnuts, pepermint and acetone...I was half scratching the paper by now and all I could think of shit.

I have tons of ideas but when lead touches paper...NOTHING!

I feel sapped of all creative energy it becomes frustrating. I get all excited going home with something in mind, determined to put it on paper but when I get home...things start to unravel, shit falls apart and I am left with nothing...it's all gone. Maybe I'm just burned out or stressed with all the shit going on...maybe.

Tuesday night family gathering, a cousin finished college and is bound for East Avenue Medical Center to pursue his chosen career as a doctor...neurosurgeon, that's what he wants to be in the future. It's good to have someone in the family that knows how to tinker with brains, you never know when you're going to need someone to clean shit out of your noodle.

It was a nice change, seeing the family again, drinking with cousins is always fun...a family that drinks together stays together I always say. Cousins who not so long ago were still playing with action figures...speaking of action figures, one cousin is an avid collector and is a pretty ruthless businessman when it comes to reselling them..."A 3-inch Darth Vader for P500? Dude, I'm your cousin!"..."I know, it's only a 100 pesos higher than what I'm offering my younger brother." No family when it comes to business...who can blame him?

We were missing one major player in particular, Joe. We miss him, me in particular. He's in California now, doing his thing...trying to carve a small niche in this big and crazy world so to speak. Partner in crime, drinking buddy, bike-mate, skateboard-mate, basketball rival. I used to stay for the summer at his house, learned to ride a bicycle and a skateboard with him...our skateboarding careers never really took off, the fact that as we grew we added on some significant poundage and it was becoming hard to do ollies...and as we all know an ollie is the most important trick, without it you can't do tricks and shit with a skateboard.

We were 2 different people, while I worshipped Christian Hosoi and Steve Caballero, he was into basketball (I still say the Lakers suck!) while I was into rock and roll, he was more into hip-hop. I loved art, he was into computers...you get the picture, 2 different people. Although we differ in tastes, we always got along.

November 2002 I was left reeling, the month brought 2 blows...on the 16th we buried our beloved lola who died the previous month, the next day Joe left for California. It was hard. The following year, I got married. He was supposed to be my best man, but he couldn't make it. Last year he got excited when he learned of Kim's pregnancy and said that he wants to be one of the ninongs for Jacob...I wouldn't want it any other way but with the coming family reunion set for December, it's more likely he'll forego coming home sooner and wait for the holidays instead.

We still keep in touch, emails and IM's are just not the same but we make do. Maybe it's the thought that summers spent with him and my cousins were much more simpler times, a time we can never revisit, a place we can only go in memories. Thinking back last Tuesday, the whole thing was cool...but it would have been cooler if he were there with us, I'd be drunk and he'll be as bombed as I am...and the whole time I'd be rubbing it in about how the Lakers failed to make it to the playoffs and how much Kobe sucks.

The new Superman?

3 words...WHAT THE FUCK? I'm really not a big fan but I grew up with Christopher Reeves as The Man of Steel...this is heresy! For more log on to this site, rumor has it that Kevin Spacey will be playing Lex Luthor, this should be interesting.

By the way, those briefs look a little too skimpy don't you think? 

6 years later after prison and he sill rips shit up.

I'm sure he got what he deserved...anyone who smuggles narcotics across state lines should be locked away for a very long time but jail stint aside, Christian Hosoi is hands down one of the greatest skateboarders ever. Before all the ESPN X-games crap, all the extreme marketing, before Tony Hawk's face has been plastered all over magazines, TV and before the video games, Holmes defined skateboarding in the 80's, from Rocket to Christ Airs no one did it better than Mr. Hosoi.

I love the feeling that Friday brings,
to look forward to 2 days of being away from this place
brings nothing but pure joy,
and it seems that I may be in luck...
monday is a special holiday,
which means a day more...
to be anywhere but here.